Just like he expected, Stan managed to escape scot-free. It'd be a while until they realized he had escaped, and even then they'd have no way to get him. The perfect plan... now, what else?

Alright, I'm a changed man. No more fights, no more stealing. I'll be honest from now on.

He looked dramatically out the window in order to validate that claim in a shonen way. And just like that, he made what might have been the only good decision of his whole life. He was going to become a law-abiding citizen. A great objective.

...Ok, how the fuck do I do that?

Of course, he had no idea how to be a good, law-abiding person. Never was. He then turned his gaze to his fingers as he started counting.

Let's see... first, I have to get a job. A... decent, hardworking job. Then... I'll have to stop betting. Ok...

Yes, sacrifices had to be made. But Stan was ready to make them in order to achieve a brigher fu-

Aw fuck it, man! That's bullshit!

...Serves the narrator right for believing him. Stan was a lost cause, plain and simple. And then he once again looked out the window, with no particular reason, simply because he was bored. And then he started a decent list.

Ok, first things first, I need to get some cash. Maybe I'll do some minor tricks and con some green out of random suckers. I mean, I can't get in trouble just because people are stupid. Then I need some food. I can do that, too. Then I'd need a cool place to stay. Does this village have any sort of anti-homeless program? Gotta find that out, too.

And just like that, the airship arrived, and Stan got down. As he walked around the station, he took out a cigarette, ready for a smoke... and realized he had misplaced his lighter.

Fuck.

Kiku was excited. That C-rank mission had been an ordeal, but it had its perks. Kiku finally had a little extra spending money. And like any teen worth his salt, he was going to blow it on something. Now the shopping district was nice and all, but Kiku had always preferred the knick-knacks that the vendors by the airship station sold. They tended to gouge a bit, but they always had some sort of cool stuff they were trying to sell to tourists. Being perfectly honest it was generally overpriced touristy crap, but Kiku liked it. There was something nice about having one of the cool things about his village recreated in souvenir form.

As luck would have it, Kiku arrived just as an airship was letting off its passengers. Things were a bit crowded, and the tiny teen was jostled around a bit as he tried to make his way to the booths. He squeezed through one clump of people, and bumped right into someone. "S-sorry sir!" he said, looking up at a rough looking man with an unlit cigarette. Hurriedly, he tried to think of a way to make amends. "Um, here, let me get that for you." He snapped his fingers, and a small flame rose from his thumb. Kiku reached up and lit the man's cigarette before blowing his thumb out.

Jutsu Used:

Stan was stumped. No money, sure, he could deal with that. No house? He was used to it. No food? He'd find a way out. But no smoking was too terrible a punishment. Of course, it was only temporary, until he managed to get a lighter. He could ask around. But he didn't want to do that... not at that point.

Well, I guess it's time to use the heat fist. Man, people are going to get all scared and shit. I don't want to look suspect... ah, whatever. And he was ready to light his hands up, when a kid bumped into him. Little runt was probably 13 or younger, didn't look too strong nor too bright. His suit said something about his cash levels, though, and Stan liked that something.

"Hey kid, wanna-" He was interrupted by the kid's thumb in his face, with a small flame. A lighter? No, that was his actual thumb. And suddenly, Stan's cigarette was lit. Amazing. He took a deep drag, blew the smoke out, and then looked at the kid with an intrigued expression.

"...The fuck was that?"

Kiku was a little confused by the man's reaction. His tone was impressed, but the words sounded like he was mad about something. He didn't know how to process that. But he was still Kiku, so he figured it was a safe bet he'd done something wrong. He should probably apologize just in case. "Sorry!" he blurted out, taking a step back. "It's um, a jutsu I invented, it doesn't really have a name yet."

Kiku was a little embarrassed. Most people who invented jutsu made up cool ones, like the Rasengan or something else powerful and impressive. The best he could manage was a wimpy little lighter, only good for candles or cigarettes. It was a pretty disappointing jutsu, barely enough to qualify as E-rank. "Just some E-rank thing I thought up one day I guess."

I'm not gonna lie, Stan was definitely impressed. No, it wasn't anything fancy, complex or powerful, but damn if that was useful. And for such a little kid to have such a useful technique... Stan was impressed, no doubt. The kid, however, was apologizing, saying it wasn't anything big. Oh, no, that wouldn't do.

"Are you kidding? That shit's amazing!" Stan smiled. "It's like some... some magic lighter or something, man!" He was visibly thrilled. "You have no idea how fucking useful that thing is! That's just... man!"

He stopped, taking another drag, then releasing the smoke into the air, shaped into rings. Calming down, he turned to Kiku again, taking the half-package of cigarretes out of his pocket and making his offer.

"Tell you what, I'll give you the rest of this package if you teach me that trick."

Kiku was stunned. This man was actually impressed with him. Not only that, he was impressed with the most useless jutsu ever created. Well, second most useless. He remembered some stories of his most famous ancestor using something he called a "Sexy no Jutsu', that didn't sound especially useful. "Oh, it's um... thanks." he said, staring at his feet.

He was even more baffled at the offer. He was too young to smoke, and he knew he looked even younger. Why would he be offering him smokes? He held up his hands, trying to politely turn down the offer. "Um, I don't smoke. But uh, I could still teach you! Are you a fire type?" He gave a nervous smile. He was going to teach someone something! Now that he thought of it, Kiku-sensei had a nice ring to it...

The kid thanked Stan, who was still thrilled. Man, a lighter jutsu! That was bound to solve all of his problems. Or... one of them. Hell, it looked cool. And it could light cigarettes easily, without need for a lighter or a box of matches. Hell, it looked cooler than a zippo. Few things look cooler than a zippo. "That's even better than a zippo." Yes, we heard, Stan. But the kid didn't, which is probably why he said it. The fact that he can't hear the narrator might be another good reason. Stan heard the kid's answer intently, and it puzzled him.

"...Ya don't smoke? Then what's the lighter for?" Something was off. Why would someone that doesn't smoke carry a lighter? It's almost as if you could do OTHER THINGS with it. Preposterous.

"Eh, whatever. Not my business, either way. A fire type... eh, I guess so." He answered, scratching the back of his head, his cigarette hanging in the corner of his mouth.

Kiku tried to think of a good way to say that he had developed it because he was too cheap to buy matches for his birthday, but there really wasn't one. Most jutsu were developed to defeat some fearsome new enemy or just for the sake of perfecting one's ninjutsu. Compared to that, his reasons were pathetic. He'd just failed to properly plan his own birthday shopping.

It was a relief when the man decided he didn't care anyway. It was good that the stranger was a fire type, his time as Kiku-sensei would have been really short otherwise. "Um, it's not much, really. Just gather a tiny bit of fire chakra, send it to your hand," He snapped his fingers, lighting his thumb again. "And release it with the snap! Just a tiny bit to sustain it, though. It's gotta be a really small fire."

Kiku's reasons for creating the jutsu were pathetic, yeah. But Stan didn't know that, and he sure as hell didn't need to know. Not that it's change much, anyways. If you think about it, he wanted the jutsu to be able to light cigarettes. And maybe as an extra to pick up chicks. But mostly cigarettes.

The kid wasn't poisoning himself, anyways. He was simply giving out instructions. Instructions Stan was paying attention to, trying to imitate right after.

"So... snap my fingers." He snapped. Nothing happened. "Except with fire chakra, of course. So..." He snapped again, and a spark could be seen. But still no fire. ...A bit more? Yeah, a bit more. And with a final snap, his thumb was on fire.

"...Man, this is pretty sweet!" Said Stan the Man with Fire in the Hand. And as such, he blew his thumb out, then turning to the kid again.

"Hey kid, what's your name?"

Kiku had to resist a strong urge to facepalm after the first snap. He had forgotten to ask the fire chakra? The most basic and important part? Maybe this guy was a little slow. Luckily, he seemed to be catching on on his own. He seemed like a pretty rough and tough guy, he might have gotten mad if Kiku-sensei had to remind him that a fire jutsu needs fire chakra. The second was just a little spark, making Kiku wonder if he'd overemphasized how tiny the amount had to be.

As they say, the third time was the charm. Stan's thumb lit up like a zippo, and he quickly blew it out. "...Man, this is pretty sweet!" Kiku couldn't help smiling. "Um, thanks! I guess it is!" The man asked his name, and Kiku realized that he'd forgotten to introduce himself this whole time. "Kikuchiyo Uzumaki, sir."

Stan stood there, playing with the lighter. He sure was having fun. Bam! He thought as he lit his thumb once again. But he hadn't forgotten what was really important. Which was getting money. Still... he didn't want to just steal money from the kid. Kiku was cool, I mean. He knew cool flamy stuff.

"Kikuchiyo, eh? I'm Stan. Say, kid, whaddaya think of bets?" He said, while taking another drag of his cigarette and blowing some more smoke out. He waited for the answer, then adding, regardless of what it was: "Y'know, I have this tradition of mine that helps me know places and shit. Every time I get to a village, I make a bet with the first person I meet. It's nothing big, really. Just a coin flip." He took one last drag out of his cigarette, throwing it into the ground and stomping on it to put it out. He released the smoke into the air.

"Heads, you pay me a beer, tails I pay you a beer. What do you say?" He said, while casually taking a two-headed coin out of his pocket.

"Bets?" Truth be told, Kiku didn't really make bets. He didn't like risk in general, and he didn't have much money to lose. He was about ready to say no when Stan just kept on talking. Apparently this was some sort of tradition. It would be rude to say no. "Well um, I guess I could..." He shifted nervously, wondering what he was getting himself into. He had a bit of spare cash, was he really going to bet it.

He was relieved when he heard that there wasn't a lot of money involved. "Oh, good, just a beer." He gave a nod before abruptly looking up. "A beer?" That sounded all kinds of illegal. Kiku had never broken the law before, he wasn't sure he wanted to try now. "Well um, I'm fifteen. I can't really drink yet..." He'd never had a drink before, either, but Kiku was a featherweight in just about every other way. He couldn't imagine handling his liquor well.

YES. The plan was underway. Stan wouldn't take all the boy's money, but a cold beer would undoubtedly be good. And the kid had fallen for it. Yeah, that talk about tradition and all always worked. He could almost taste it...

NERD - "Well um, I'm fifteen. I can't really drink yet..."

Well fuck that noise. Stan saw his whole plan falling at that very minute. But no, he couldn't allow it, he wouldn't allow it. He kept his cool. The kid was a sucker, yeah, he just needed a bit more... convincing. Preferably one that didn't involve violence.

"Not with that attitude you can't. Ya know, I started when I was seven!" He said, calmly. "And it helped me a lot in life. Makes it easier to talk to people, ya know?" He paused once again, looking at the kid, taking a deep breath, and continuing. "Still, I can't force ya to nothing. So if I lose, I'll pay ya a glass of milk or fruit juice or whatever you may want. Good now?"

When he was seven? Kiku was starting to think that explained a lot. The guy was a bit slow on the uptake, maybe the alcohol hadn't been good for him. Still, the offer had been made. It would be rude to turn him down now. Stan the man was offering some concessions, but Kiku didn't want to impose. "No uh, beer's fine. Really." He forced a nervous smile.

Kiku fidgeted. he was very unsure about this whole thing. First bet, first beer, first misdemeanor, all rolled into one. But a promise was a promise. He'd made a deal with this man, he had to keep his word. He hadn't noticed the man pull his coin out, so Kiku fished through his pockets for his own. "Alright, heads you win, tails I win." The little genin flipped the coin.

Wow. Everything was going perfectly. Stan not only recovered the bet, but got a kid to man up. That'd probably help him a lot.

"Alright! We're all set, then!" He grinned. That had to be the easiest glass of beer ever. No money spent, nothing lost, it was like taking candy from a baby. Except it was taking beer from a baby. He started thinking about what to do after he finished his glass. I should get me some food, too... and if I'm lucky, I can get me a place to stay. Man, is there any way to get easy money and not get in trouble? I mean, you need at least a decent bit of cash to bet... ah, whatever.

He readied his coin, and was about to flip it, grin in face already as he was sure of his victory. And it was then his face was filled with despair as he noticed the genin's coin spinning through the air.

...FUCK.

The instants the coin spent in the air were among the longest in Stan's life. But by the time the kid grabbed the coin, he already had already calmed down and shaken his mind back to place. It was cool. He could deal with it. Even if he lost, he could manage his situation and still get a beer. But that was IF he lost. And he wouldn't lose.

"I'm feeling lucky", he grinned.

Kiku grabbed the coin from the air, slapping it down on the back of his hand. He lifted his hand up to check the results, and felt relieved. Stan had been right to feel lucky, and his luck helped Kiku too. The coin had come up heads. Stan the man would get his beer, and Kiku would be able to avoid embarrassing himself. Both from probably being lightweight enough to get drunk off one beer, and from whatever would happen after. Kiku was normally pretty controlled, he didn't want to know what would happen if he got hammered.

Kiku looked up at Stan, a genuine smile on his face. "Looks like you win, sir. I um, can't buy it myself." Kiku knew that it would probably be at least 20 years after he was old enough to drink before any bartender would believe it. "So I'll just give you the money, and..." It dawned on him that he had no idea how much a beer cost. "How much for a beer again?"

YES. VICTORY. Sure, Stan trusted his luck, but the thrill of winning was still there. And as a reward, a good cold beer. Life was good. Life was really good.

"Looks like you win, sir. I um, can't buy it myself."

Yeah, the kid couldn't buy beer alone. But that was never intended, anyways. "Yeah, no problem. I'll come with you to get it, no big-""So I'll just give you the money, and..." Stan stopped. He wanted to say that that wasn't right, that it would kill the tradition, that the idea is to have a conversation and bond over the drink. But something spoke louder, and that something was MONEY. "How much for a beer again?"

A MILLION FUCKING RYO! Would have been his answer, had he less common sense. But he wasn't THAT stupid.

"Man, a beer... to be honest, the price changes a lot from place to place. I mean, beer in Donzo was pretty cheap, specially since they made it there, but this place doesn't look like a beer producer, and the cost to bring the stuff here would be pretty high. Lessee..." He stopped to think, calculating. Or at least pretending he was calculating. "If they sold it there by some 30 ryo... I think some 20, 25 ryo would be a safe bet. Nah, 20 must be enough for a beer for sure." He finished, looking at the kid.

Kiku gave him a weird look as he went through his calculations. All of that sounded pretty high, and from what he'd heard beer was one of the cheaper drinks. Kiku didn't know much about booze, but at least he knew that much. Maybe he had expensive tastes? Or maybe he drank a lot of beer. That made more sense. This Stan didn't look like the kind of guy to tend towards expensive anything, but it would not surprise Kiku one bit if he drank a whole heck of a lot. "Well, um, okay."

Kiku drew out his wallet, counting out the money. This seriously cut into his shopping fund, he considered just leaving that for another day. He could find another mission, get some money that way. Kiku handed the money over, smiling sheepishly. "There you go! That should cover it."

"ALRIGHT! Thanks, kid." Stan said, as he took the money from the kid. Hey, this kid's alright. He casually put the money in his pocket, cracking his neck.

"Well, I'll be going. And hey, I still owe you for this, so if anything shows up, gimme a heads up." He said, while activating Stan's Magic Lighter once more, half to indicate he was talking about the jutsu, half as a thumbs up. And as he did that, something clicked in his mind: The technique lacked a name. That shouldn't happen. Even most basic techniques should have a cool name. It helped remember them, and made it badass to explain them to people. Stan just had to inquire about that.

"Speaking of which, does this thing have a name?"

Well, this was a change of pace. A big bullyish type was getting along with Kiku. He'd even thanked him! Kiku supposed this was what happened when you gave the bully your lunch money the first time he asked. He wished he'd known this method back in his academy days. "It's no trouble, really." He forced a smile.

He was just waving goodbye when the man turned around again. Kiku took a step back, thinking Stan the Man was going to demand the rest of his money. It was a huge relief when he just asked what the jutsu was called. Then Kiku remembered it didn't have a name and started to panic again. "It, um, well, it uh, doesn't really have one?" He scratched the back of his head, hoping a beating wasn't coming.

According to himself, he owed the kid. But not according to the kid. "It's no trouble", he said... wait, seriously?

"You sayin' ya don't need my help?" Stan asked back, a bit intrigued. That kid was saying his help wasn't needed, is that it? That he didn't need a favor from the great STAN WARGRAVE? Was he too good for that? Oh, that wouldn't do. Not at all it wouldn't. They had to solve that issue there.

On a different note, the technique didn't have a name. That, without a doubt, was unnaceptable.

"No name? Fuckin' SERIOUSLY? Well, it does now! Stan's Magic Lighter up in this bitch!" He stopped as he thought about what he had just said. The kid seemed stupid, he might not understand that perfectly. Better make sure. "I mean, just Stan's Magic Lighter. The rest isn't part of the name."

Kiku waved his arms, trying to calm the man down. "N-no! Nothing like that! It's just um, well you see, you don't have to do anything if it's too much trouble, I don't want to inconvenience you!" He really hoped that would calm the man down, but he wasn't optimistic. In fact, he had the sneaking suspicion it would make him even angrier. He really hoped that didn't happen.

Luckily, Stan the Man was distracted by the technique. Kiku was a bit hurt that his student was naming his own technique after himself, but there wasn't much he could do about it. This guy looked pretty tough. "Well but I- Okay." Kiku looked sad at this turn of events. He had invented that jutsu. It was pretty pathetic and useless, but it was his. And now this guy wanted to steal the credit. But he would have his revenge. When this man wasn't around, he would call it Kiku's Magic Lighter! That would show him. But for now, all he could do was be dejected.

The kid explained himself, trying to make his situation better. But that sure wasn't helping his case... no, he was actually looking a bit too pathetic with all that.

"Come on, kid, that's not how it fuckin' works. Look, if it really was too much trouble or whatever the hell you said, I wouldn't have fucking offered it on the first place! When I say "I got your back", then I got your fucking back! Get it?" The kid seemed a bit dense, but he'd probably understand. And he'd better understand, because Stan didn't like offering help that many times. The kid was already an exception.

He also didn't seem to like the idea of the jutsu being called Stan's Magic Lighter, too. Stan didn't owe him explanations or anything, but hey, he was already talking to him. "I mean, you can call it whatever the fuck you want. I'm just calling it that because I already have the Stan's Magic Outlet." He rubbed his fingers together, creating a small electrical current between them. "Pretty useful for recharging batteries, ya know?"

Kiku shrank back. He was horribly confused by all this. This man was saying he would help Kiku out, but he was doing it in a way that made it seem like he was going to beat some wholesale ass. It just didn't make sense. Was he planning to protect Kiku or hurt him? Kiku nodded frantically, trying to placate him. "Got it!" The boy was sort of terrified right now.

He relaxed a bit at the explanation of the jutsu name. The magic lighter name was a good idea, and that magic outlet looked useful. Kiku hoped he'd be able to learn lightning jutsu someday, maybe he could recreate that jutsu and call it Kiku's magic outlet. There would be some poetic justice to that. But as it was, he was far from even being able to learn the basics of another element. "Yeah, I guess so. That jutsu looks useful."

"Hell yeah!" The kid finally understood, and Stan's expression went back to his confident grin. Then the whole conversation about the technique's name happened. It's good to finally catch up to the second half of the post. Leaves a feeling of accomplishment.

The kid relaxed, acknowledging the usefulness of the jutsu. Stan nodded in agreement. For a homeless guy like him, having an automatic magical cellphone charger was pretty handy.

"So yeah, kid. Got your back. By the way, where are the training fields? I'm thinking of passing by later. Got a couple techniques I want to try out."